Shaadi Mubarak 9

Classic "one-knee" proposal, ca. 1815 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

.31 crt diamond ; 2 trillian cut rubies ; 14k gold with trinity knots (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This post take a view on the whole 'proposal' business.

Asking someone to get married to you or agreeing to someone, is may be one of the biggest steps anyone can take. This is a decision, which you take, in all awareness, that you will live your life with this one person, build a family with them, until death do you apart. You bet, this is BIG STEP!

As women, we all dream of a knight and shiny armor, will come in the woods and whisk us away. Some of us grow up, some of us still wish we will get that and some of us are actually lucky enough to get it.

Planning a proposal is not an easy task. To all the men, thank you, for going through the pains of making your special lady feel so special. I wonder, what goes on in your head, when you are planning one. Are you wondering, hope she likes it, or what if she says no. Are you anxious or just taking these steps to make her happy?

I planned a proposal with a friend for his girlfriend. I was responsible to getting the size of the ring, help him choose one (as he wanted it to be a surprise) and then work with him on the details of when, how and where to pop the box open and let the glistening diamond show. For me it was fun, for him,it was nerve racking.

One friend of mine, surprised his girlfriend, by taking her in the middle of the lake in Versailles, and asking her to marry her there.

Women who are dating and in a committed relationships, are in a constant pendulum stage, till the time the question is not asked. They are constantly being nagged by the question..."when will he ask me to marry him?". The rules of the game say, they( as women) should not ask and wait to be asked. So, they start by throwing hints. .."hey, my mom was saying that I should get married now.... or ....I can move in with you, only if we get married....you know what, see how Rahul proposed to his girlfriend....."

Yes, women are smart, they will start using the word marriage, ring, et al in the casual conversations. They might also see a movie and generally say, how cute, I would love to be proposed that ways.

Around this time, the girl is already in the malls, will stop in front of a jewellery store, admiring rings. This is the time, when every girl will know the language of diamonds- cut, clarity and carat. Men, beware, you are talking to some highly educated ladies here! This is also the time, when each evening, she is going out on dinner with him, she is anticipating, that he will ask her today. Each evening, that this does not happen, she comes back, unhappy, even if she had the most wonderful time.

But, guess, what, whenever the question is popped, it always is a memorable story. A story, that will stay with the girl for a long time. A story that she will smile and tell when asked.More than the wedding, the anticipation and proposal, as the easiest, and the most romantic moment in a shaadi. And for us bye standers, this is often a story, when we hear, we say... awww.... oooohh...aaa... !

Shaadi Mubarak 8

Silhouette or a pregnant woman and her partner. The woman is in advanced pregnancy at about 39 wks gestation. The flickr photographer reports that this is an edited image. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Our fascination to be  productive!

Like always, I was chatting with a friend of mine, woes of a single girl. My friend has just quit her job, and is staying at home, focusing on self, going to gym classes, meeting friend and taking some time off to think, about the meaning of life, what she wants to do with it, how she wants to live it.

I am currently in San Francisco, living it- atleast that is what the world thinks, and I like it that ways. I have a job, my own place, friends and my share of classes- from yoga, meditation to swimming, calligraphy. Everything that i need to explore and find myself.

As I was speaking to Fora, cribbing about pressures of life, how i was not feeling my full potential was being used, Fora drew a comparison and said, " my dear, atleast you are working and being productive, i am not doing that too"

This struck me! The need to be productive.

Why is it hard for people to take time out of their own lives, to live it. When they do this, there has to be another reason like (a) retirement (b) life changing situation. What is our fascination to be productive. Why can't we just say happily, we are doing nothing. Why is exploring life, at its pace, not a big enough and respectable job.

The concept of productivity, raised another interesting thought- the easiest way to be productive for a woman is to be 'literally' productive- i.e, bear children. Apologies, this is sounding crass, and derogatory, but  for a minute, think about it, there are women in the world, who are just children making machines. Think of people like Kate Gosselin, of Kate plus Eight. Producing eight kids! This woman, did become a kid popping machine.

I wonder, how many women actually become mothers, because they want to get that feeling of motherhood and love and care. What is this feeling of motherhood? Is this a feeling, where you feel good/ bad/ responsible, for someone, you actually feel needed, as there is someone, out there who is totally dependent on you. A feeling of self validation, that I am actually worth something to someone.

Like an architect said- every brick wants to be something.

Every individual wants to be needed. wants to be productive, and as much as we like the esoteric concepts of motherhood, feelings of love and care, they key driver can be traced to a need of every individual to be something.