Shaadi Mubarak 8

Silhouette or a pregnant woman and her partner. The woman is in advanced pregnancy at about 39 wks gestation. The flickr photographer reports that this is an edited image. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Our fascination to be  productive!

Like always, I was chatting with a friend of mine, woes of a single girl. My friend has just quit her job, and is staying at home, focusing on self, going to gym classes, meeting friend and taking some time off to think, about the meaning of life, what she wants to do with it, how she wants to live it.

I am currently in San Francisco, living it- atleast that is what the world thinks, and I like it that ways. I have a job, my own place, friends and my share of classes- from yoga, meditation to swimming, calligraphy. Everything that i need to explore and find myself.

As I was speaking to Fora, cribbing about pressures of life, how i was not feeling my full potential was being used, Fora drew a comparison and said, " my dear, atleast you are working and being productive, i am not doing that too"

This struck me! The need to be productive.

Why is it hard for people to take time out of their own lives, to live it. When they do this, there has to be another reason like (a) retirement (b) life changing situation. What is our fascination to be productive. Why can't we just say happily, we are doing nothing. Why is exploring life, at its pace, not a big enough and respectable job.

The concept of productivity, raised another interesting thought- the easiest way to be productive for a woman is to be 'literally' productive- i.e, bear children. Apologies, this is sounding crass, and derogatory, but  for a minute, think about it, there are women in the world, who are just children making machines. Think of people like Kate Gosselin, of Kate plus Eight. Producing eight kids! This woman, did become a kid popping machine.

I wonder, how many women actually become mothers, because they want to get that feeling of motherhood and love and care. What is this feeling of motherhood? Is this a feeling, where you feel good/ bad/ responsible, for someone, you actually feel needed, as there is someone, out there who is totally dependent on you. A feeling of self validation, that I am actually worth something to someone.

Like an architect said- every brick wants to be something.

Every individual wants to be needed. wants to be productive, and as much as we like the esoteric concepts of motherhood, feelings of love and care, they key driver can be traced to a need of every individual to be something.

Narayanism and Single-ism!!

This is how it started....

Narayan and Me were at mainland china for lunch. We thought of writing a graphic novel, on the lines of dilbert on interesting life of being single. The strip is called.. you guessed it...

SINGLE-ISM!!!

Haw many times have you heard stories of a friend meeting his future lifepartner on a flight across the Atlantic. It just took crossing a pond to find love. After all, this is a perfect place, you are 'up in the air', no distractions, bored, food and alcohol are taken care off, and you know what, if its a long flight, your first date can result in sleeping together. (a slight technicality... each in their own seat!). That day and this day, i have been very observant and keep a note of who sits next to me in a plane. Here are few incidents of flight romance:

• This time i was greeted by a kid perched up on my window seat. The mother, is a British born Punjabi lady, who speak fluent Punjabi and the not so fluent English. My request to get my seat back was met with a few, not so pleasant Punjabi curses, which to this day, i cannot decipher.
• A middle age couple, with an american passport- (oh damn, how much i want that, but with 'no English'.) As this nice Indian girl, I patiently fill their immigration cards. Got them alkatezer and ordered food from the air hostess. Its like, being a 'personal' attendant. 
• This was a really big..(i mean really big) dude.. ooozing out of his seat, spilling into mine and feeding on a HUUUGE subway sandwich. The airlines should have charged me for only half a seat.
• This one time was this really cute guy- tall, fair, handsome.. everything I could think of. I thought, may be, this is my lucky day.. may be this is when the fairlytale comes true for me. It was a 6 hr flight, so I have lots of time too. He was nice, pleasant and very talkative. We were connecting. We loved travelling, were working in similar industry, and guess what, we also found common friends. At the 5th hour of the flight, I heard about his 'partner'. (Gosh, where were my womenly instincts)
• This was this boy- looked straight out of a rock band. Curly hair, light blue eyes, and a smile to die for. Our eyes did meet in the boarding area. We smiled at each other and yes, a little bit of flirtations. He boarded the plane. I followed almost 10 minutes after that. We saw each other in the plane.. two seats next to him were empty.. will any of these be mine.. don't know, lets leave it to luck. Damn, one gets filled. We both are looking at each other very hopeful, when the lady right in front of me, carry 5 'carry on bags' dumps them on the seat next to him. So long, dear friend.
• This time, it was an English teacher from San Francisco. 14 hour flight- what more. Bearded guy- well not my type. So, for the first six hours we do not speak, just sleep. I figured, since we have already slept together (albeit in the plane and in out own small economy seats), its time to open some conversation. The man was pretty interesting. We talk of topics ranging from native Americans to amazon forests to English writing to Hollywood... To family to life. For some reason, I realized, only later when he was helping me get by bag from the overhead compartment- he had a ring on.
• This is classic. Flirt with the air hostess. Perfect setting, you get the best of attention, best of food, wines and any meals not used in the first class. And if she is pretty and only in your city for a day, vola.. you have an interesting date. My friend, who was in this situation, flirts all 8 hrs in the flights.When de-boarding, goes up to this lady, thanks her, asks her what she was doing on that one day stop over. 
• Kenny: Hey, thanks. I had a great flight.
• Hostess: Cool. Enjoy being back home.
• Kenny: So what are you doing this evening?
• Hostess: Nothing
• Kenny: Ok, bye!! (Kenny walks out, thinking, o shit. I could have asked her for a date!)