Chief Strategist in Congress!

The great Indian middle class, for once seemed united under the banner of Mr. Anna Hazare. For months, the media and common Indian's believed that this child-looking Septuagenarian was the single uniting force behind today's young and middle class India (in addition to facebook!). In a master stroke this week, Congress, managed to emerge in a win-win situation.

The saaga began when Mr. Anna Hazare and team decided to go onto a fast, over Lok Pal bill. 

THE NOT SO GOOD DAUGHTER

This is a very personal note. If I was someone who wrote a diary, I would put this on that.

I flew into DC today. During these long transatlantic flights, there are times when one is sitting at the airport, waiting for a connection. More often than not, these are odd hours and I observe people. I observe their body language, how people are talking and its interesting- how much you can make out about a person and their relationships by just looking at them.

In recent times, i have started observing mother daughter relationships. May be, a result of some guilt that I might have been a bad daughter or a craving to find my mother next to me. Just when I at a stage in life to value my mother and bring her dreams alive, she is not there with me. In these moments of aloneness, at the airports, as I see mother-daughters, i cannot help reflecting back on my relationship with my mother.

Mommy was the best, is the best and will always be the best. Most of my recollection today are of her doing things for me or me getting angry at her. There are times i remember saying sorry for what i did, but more often than not, she just got it. I never had to say anything- rarely apologize for my bad behavior, but just smile and get back to being normal. And life will get back to normal.

Now I do not have her with me and i wonder, if I told her- that i loved her.

The memories of her are like a 1960's movies. All pristine in her saari, hair tied up in a jura, she was one of the most proud and self respecting woman i know. She stood behind dad like a rock, supporting him in all his decisions and being his strength. She was the hand around me pulling me back from danger and pushing me into opportunities. The constant renforcement, that I need even today, but no longer have it.

Have I been bad.. yes very bad. I have screamed at her, asked us to go away, not to irritate me.. and she would still be around- will smile, ignoring me. As I was contemplating, i decided to think of times, when I have been a very good daughter, a friend and support to her. There are a few times I could think of- when I in my heart know- was the biggest strength she had.

Once she was very un-well emotionally, and I took her out for lunch. She started recovering after that day and the conversation we had that evening. Another time was when we were mugged of $200. I smiled at her and reassured her it was ok. The times when I would shop for clothes for my brother were times when she felt really happy. Another time, when i spoke to my ex after a very very long time, I reached out to her to give her the first download. That is when she said- i know and feel good that you share everything with me. She was my best friend and i am glad i was able to tell that to her.

In a life of 30 years, I can think of only a handful of times when I have done things/ conversations when I have felt truly connected to her. In 30 years, there are a million incidents when she has done things when she has been truly connected to me.

Now that she is gone, will i ever find a way to get over this guilt- the guilt of being not the good daughter she raised me to be- the guilt of misbehaving with a person who cared for you more than anybody in the world. Is being alone some level, a redemption.

'Digital' is the way to keep it 'REAL'- ICC cricket world cup 2011

                    Image via WikipediaIt is interesting- its 2011, the age of BBM's and FaceBook's. The age when people - who sit across the table yet are always multi-tasking on a small 4inch by 3" device in their hands.

Let's be honest, how many of us were either at the stadium or at a sports bar or may be with friends at home, watching the 'match of the century'- India Pakistan cricket world cup semi finals. We were geared up in the blue jerseys- 'bleeding blue'- cheering the blue squad to win it. Yes baby.. bring it home.

It all started the day earlier when status messages started reading- Mohalli. Somebody who could not manage to buy the 1000 INR ticket (being sold at 20000 INR), decided to keep it real. His status message read- Not in Mohalli- but my Mohalla!! Yes, there were zillions or ZOOTs of these mohalla parties. But, with each ball, each cheering, each wicket, amidst the cheering of the crowd at the stadium, the pub, there was this new buzzing sound. The buzz of my black-berry. 


Yes, the FB messages were being updated, the blackberry messenger messages being exchanged and all this happening when most of us were sitting - face to face with a huge or not so huge crowd. Infact, what was cool was getting messages from ground zero - the heart of all the action. Fans were updating pictures or sending analysis of the game or just cheering to the sprit of the game.... all in the digital world.

The point is, the digital world is the way we keep it real today. A bit oxymoronic. But that is my world today.

Here is a list of some interesting status updates

An interesting philosphy- when things do not work out

"..Each person who comes to your life has a role to play. There an experience you need to go thru with this person and you will continue to either go thru similar experience with that person or similar experience till the time you have intrinsically learnt the lesson from it. Each one of us need to learn these things to complete the circle of life..."

An interesting philosophy to make peace with relationships not working out as planned!

Another Big oNE

Hail Nithya!-6

There is a difference between desire and attachment!

Millennials an marriage

http://edition.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/03/09/millennials.parenthood.marriage/index.html

Baby Elephant in my dreams

People around the world put a lot of emphasis on dreams. From Freud to Psychics. I dreamt of a happy, baby elephant running into a garden, being chased by guards of the garden. I am in the garden as if I own this, with two friends. Its a wedding set up. I laugh as I see the elephant, and run towards it. The Elephant just dashes out of the other side, with me running after it and laughing. It was a happy dream. Happy elephant. Happy setting. Any interpretations?

Hail Nithya!-5

if you cannot be happy and content being single, you will also not be happy and content being in any relationship. Looking more deeply, everyone of us is single and in relationship at different times of each day. So learn to be happy and content in all situations, irrespective of your so called relationship status.

Its New York finally!

Snowed in for almost a week, coming back into a city where i lived in my late twenties, it feels awesome. I am back in new york after only 6 months, but it feels like over a year. The city is pulling me back towards its. There is a strange sense of freedom on the streets of new york which are lined with garbage bags on one side and snow piles on the other. Its dirty, it sticks, but, there are people who will never trade this city for anything else in the world.

I have moved back to India. To new delhi. But, as I am walking the streets of this eclectic city or just sitting perched on the window sill of my rental on the 11th floor, this city is pulling me back towards it. It is telling me to join it, so that I can be myself.

I love new york!

Hail Nithya!-4

Inwardly welcome the issues that are bothering you. Also welcome any desire to change, improve, fix or heal them. And welcome any sense that they are personal, that they are your problem, fault, or about you in any way. This is the practical way to let go

I am enough. Being vulnerable is being alive!

How often have you felt that you are 'A OK'. Loose passion for things, loose true joy or sadness. You just start accepting things as they are. We pretend that what we do does not have an affect of people or myself.

Just the other day I was speaking to a friend of mine, how things have stopped affecting me. How I have kind of stopped feeling huge passion, sadness or anything. Have I just killed that feeling in me? Is this a good state to be in? Brene Brown says.. may be not!

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

Helen Fisher on meaning of Romantic Love

http://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_tells_us_why_we_love_cheat.html