Inwardly welcome the issues that are bothering you. Also welcome any desire to change, improve, fix or heal them. And welcome any sense that they are personal, that they are your problem, fault, or about you in any way. This is the practical way to let go
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I am enough. Being vulnerable is being alive!
How often have you felt that you are 'A OK'. Loose passion for things, loose true joy or sadness. You just start accepting things as they are. We pretend that what we do does not have an affect of people or myself.
Just the other day I was speaking to a friend of mine, how things have stopped affecting me. How I have kind of stopped feeling huge passion, sadness or anything. Have I just killed that feeling in me? Is this a good state to be in? Brene Brown says.. may be not!
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
Just the other day I was speaking to a friend of mine, how things have stopped affecting me. How I have kind of stopped feeling huge passion, sadness or anything. Have I just killed that feeling in me? Is this a good state to be in? Brene Brown says.. may be not!
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Narayanism and Single-ism!!
This is how it started....
Narayan and Me were at mainland china for lunch. We thought of writing a graphic novel, on the lines of dilbert on interesting life of being single. The strip is called.. you guessed it...
SINGLE-ISM!!!
Haw many times have you heard stories of a friend meeting his future lifepartner on a flight across the Atlantic. It just took crossing a pond to find love. After all, this is a perfect place, you are 'up in the air', no distractions, bored, food and alcohol are taken care off, and you know what, if its a long flight, your first date can result in sleeping together. (a slight technicality... each in their own seat!). That day and this day, i have been very observant and keep a note of who sits next to me in a plane. Here are few incidents of flight romance:
Narayan and Me were at mainland china for lunch. We thought of writing a graphic novel, on the lines of dilbert on interesting life of being single. The strip is called.. you guessed it...
SINGLE-ISM!!!
Haw many times have you heard stories of a friend meeting his future lifepartner on a flight across the Atlantic. It just took crossing a pond to find love. After all, this is a perfect place, you are 'up in the air', no distractions, bored, food and alcohol are taken care off, and you know what, if its a long flight, your first date can result in sleeping together. (a slight technicality... each in their own seat!). That day and this day, i have been very observant and keep a note of who sits next to me in a plane. Here are few incidents of flight romance:
- This time i was greeted by a kid perched up on my window seat. The mother, is a British born Punjabi lady, who speak fluent Punjabi and the not so fluent English. My request to get my seat back was met with a few, not so pleasant Punjabi curses, which to this day, i cannot decipher.
- A middle age couple, with an american passport- (oh damn, how much i want that, but with 'no English'.) As this nice Indian girl, I patiently fill their immigration cards. Got them alkatezer and ordered food from the air hostess. Its like, being a 'personal' attendant.
- This was a really big..(i mean really big) dude.. ooozing out of his seat, spilling into mine and feeding on a HUUUGE subway sandwich. The airlines should have charged me for only half a seat.
- This one time was this really cute guy- tall, fair, handsome.. everything I could think of. I thought, may be, this is my lucky day.. may be this is when the fairlytale comes true for me. It was a 6 hr flight, so I have lots of time too. He was nice, pleasant and very talkative. We were connecting. We loved travelling, were working in similar industry, and guess what, we also found common friends. At the 5th hour of the flight, I heard about his 'partner'. (Gosh, where were my womenly instincts)
- This was this boy- looked straight out of a rock band. Curly hair, light blue eyes, and a smile to die for. Our eyes did meet in the boarding area. We smiled at each other and yes, a little bit of flirtations. He boarded the plane. I followed almost 10 minutes after that. We saw each other in the plane.. two seats next to him were empty.. will any of these be mine.. don't know, lets leave it to luck. Damn, one gets filled. We both are looking at each other very hopeful, when the lady right in front of me, carry 5 'carry on bags' dumps them on the seat next to him. So long, dear friend.
- This time, it was an English teacher from San Francisco. 14 hour flight- what more. Bearded guy- well not my type. So, for the first six hours we do not speak, just sleep. I figured, since we have already slept together (albeit in the plane and in out own small economy seats), its time to open some conversation. The man was pretty interesting. We talk of topics ranging from native Americans to amazon forests to English writing to Hollywood... To family to life. For some reason, I realized, only later when he was helping me get by bag from the overhead compartment- he had a ring on.
- This is classic. Flirt with the air hostess. Perfect setting, you get the best of attention, best of food, wines and any meals not used in the first class. And if she is pretty and only in your city for a day, vola.. you have an interesting date. My friend, who was in this situation, flirts all 8 hrs in the flights.When de-boarding, goes up to this lady, thanks her, asks her what she was doing on that one day stop over.
- Kenny: Hey, thanks. I had a great flight.
- Hostess: Cool. Enjoy being back home.
- Kenny: So what are you doing this evening?
- Hostess: Nothing
- Kenny: Ok, bye!! (Kenny walks out, thinking, o shit. I could have asked her for a date!)
Shaadi Mubarak 4
Khao piyo khisko!
I remember a time when somebody walked into a wedding late in the evening, had a 'shagan' ka lifafa in her hand. I greeted her near the gate and she said.... have you gone on stage and met the bride and groom. She said, arre... lets do the payment for the food we are going to eat. Chalo, milte hain, payment karte hain and phir khiskte hain.
It was an interesting perspective. I go to weddings to meet people, dress up, if i know the bride and groom well- tease them, have fun. Its a relaxed mode. Typically, when the wedding is going on, friends and family will be circled around a table, to meet, tease. Rampant matchmaking is another interesting activity going on. Wedding is a place where girls are spotted, flirtations are in the air. Truly, love is in the air. In a three - four day event, people tend to get to know each other. New relationships are formed. A few relationships may sour too. Old relationships get consolidated.
Its always the part after the event, when people are just hanging.. with nothing much to do. Every body is looking good, they are on a high, food is abundant and you just relax and chill in the festive atmosphere the bride and grooms family have created for you.
There are times, when people go to a wedding to show their face - to be seen or as an obligation. I often wonder, whats the point of such a visit. The fact that you are just 'visiting' the wedding and not really 'participating' is that you have been invited as an obligation. You dress up, travel all the way from where you are just to do a payment and eat dinner. How about just going for dinner on your own.
Wonder, why do we have to keep up with our presence. I could never understand going to an event where I just have to 'show my face' and like it or not, I do that a lot.
I remember a time when somebody walked into a wedding late in the evening, had a 'shagan' ka lifafa in her hand. I greeted her near the gate and she said.... have you gone on stage and met the bride and groom. She said, arre... lets do the payment for the food we are going to eat. Chalo, milte hain, payment karte hain and phir khiskte hain.
It was an interesting perspective. I go to weddings to meet people, dress up, if i know the bride and groom well- tease them, have fun. Its a relaxed mode. Typically, when the wedding is going on, friends and family will be circled around a table, to meet, tease. Rampant matchmaking is another interesting activity going on. Wedding is a place where girls are spotted, flirtations are in the air. Truly, love is in the air. In a three - four day event, people tend to get to know each other. New relationships are formed. A few relationships may sour too. Old relationships get consolidated.
Its always the part after the event, when people are just hanging.. with nothing much to do. Every body is looking good, they are on a high, food is abundant and you just relax and chill in the festive atmosphere the bride and grooms family have created for you.
There are times, when people go to a wedding to show their face - to be seen or as an obligation. I often wonder, whats the point of such a visit. The fact that you are just 'visiting' the wedding and not really 'participating' is that you have been invited as an obligation. You dress up, travel all the way from where you are just to do a payment and eat dinner. How about just going for dinner on your own.
Wonder, why do we have to keep up with our presence. I could never understand going to an event where I just have to 'show my face' and like it or not, I do that a lot.
Hail Nithya!-3
Did you know that the word 'decide' has the same root as 'suicide' and 'homocide'? It literally means to finish off the alternatives
Monday, December 27, 2010
Shaadi Mubarak 3
Since the time, a girl realizes how to dress us, they start building the vision for the epitome of all dressing up days- the wedding day. From what I have observed, there is one single thought- I n
eed to look different from all the other brides. (well quite rightly so, it MY wedding); AND if you are that part of the society which loves to flaunt money and designer labels. For most of the ladies, this is/ must be the single most dress item in their wardrobe. And Its amazing, in the value conscious India, the single dress that you (hopefully) will never wear again. :-)
It starts with the idea- what to wear- a sari, a lehenga or something customized.. something unique. What is the look going to be.. traditional, classic, western.... ? AND the big one, what color. Pastels to green to red...and wait a minute the hues of red.
Then starts the whole round of shops, designers to chandni chawk places to places where your best friends, cousin's, aunt's daughter bought her clothes from. The grand search begins. Visit these locations, with your mom and a few loyal friends, get treated with cold drinks and 'chai' and yes ladies, try on. At some of these cooler places, the sales man will drape the saree on him self and show how it looks. and say.. 'madam ji, aaj kal to yahi chal raha hai... per aap ke liye humne dekho, isko different bana diya, aap isnme bahut ache lagoge..'.
After visiting almost 7-8 shops, the bride is generally exhausted and most likely confused. She has lost the charm of looking different. At this time, all that she needs is a wedding dress. Because, you know what, she also needs to worry about the sangeet dress, the mehendi dress, the cocktail dress, the make up person, the guy who will do the hair, the look she wants, the jewelry to wear with, the shoes, the bags... c'mon, its a tough choice.
Hail, entry, the designer friend. The lady who promised it all and suddenly disappeared for a show closer the the event. Frantic calls to this fashionista, a coffee meeting, visit to her studios, dad releasing the money, and vola, we have the bride happy. But, a bride needs to feel overwhelemed and confused, to really enjoy what she gets. Something, i have observed in all the brides.
Its amazing, the amount of money and time that is spend in finding that one wedding dress, the one for that special day of yours, which most likely, you will never wear again, to develop a look, which most likely you will never sport again. Brides on this day carry a look which nobody has ever seen them in. Its a day, when they will look at themselves and blush. And when their yet to happen kids, look at pictures off will look and ask, ..mama, who is that aunty standing next to dad.
Its amazing, how the transformation happens for women. In all the wedding albums of friends, it has been pretty easy to recognize the men.
At a friends wedding, where I was the quasi maid of honour, it was painful. It was painful because, i was the one holding the 20kg stone studded chunni. She was wearing this amazing, heavy kundan set, which the elders of the family thought was a must, to show the richness she came from, a 'rani haar' that nearly pulled her neck to touch the floor.
She came into the house for 15 minutes before the phera. The only thing she wanted was, to take off her heels and remove the jewelery. Her ears were in pain. Imagine, how hard is to wear a 10-20g earing for almost 4 hrs, along with a 20kg lehenga, a 1 kg hair do with pins on pencil heels which are digging the floor.
I always thought women went to gym before the wedding to tone up and look the prettiest on this day. May be, weight lifting training needs to be added. Our ladies, are carry an expensive load of over 25kg on this day. And guess, what a lot of this is an pain inflicted by our ladies by themselves.
Isn't this world an amazing place!
 |
| Rajput bride wearing a pink lehenga. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
It starts with the idea- what to wear- a sari, a lehenga or something customized.. something unique. What is the look going to be.. traditional, classic, western.... ? AND the big one, what color. Pastels to green to red...and wait a minute the hues of red.
Then starts the whole round of shops, designers to chandni chawk places to places where your best friends, cousin's, aunt's daughter bought her clothes from. The grand search begins. Visit these locations, with your mom and a few loyal friends, get treated with cold drinks and 'chai' and yes ladies, try on. At some of these cooler places, the sales man will drape the saree on him self and show how it looks. and say.. 'madam ji, aaj kal to yahi chal raha hai... per aap ke liye humne dekho, isko different bana diya, aap isnme bahut ache lagoge..'.
After visiting almost 7-8 shops, the bride is generally exhausted and most likely confused. She has lost the charm of looking different. At this time, all that she needs is a wedding dress. Because, you know what, she also needs to worry about the sangeet dress, the mehendi dress, the cocktail dress, the make up person, the guy who will do the hair, the look she wants, the jewelry to wear with, the shoes, the bags... c'mon, its a tough choice.
Hail, entry, the designer friend. The lady who promised it all and suddenly disappeared for a show closer the the event. Frantic calls to this fashionista, a coffee meeting, visit to her studios, dad releasing the money, and vola, we have the bride happy. But, a bride needs to feel overwhelemed and confused, to really enjoy what she gets. Something, i have observed in all the brides.
Its amazing, the amount of money and time that is spend in finding that one wedding dress, the one for that special day of yours, which most likely, you will never wear again, to develop a look, which most likely you will never sport again. Brides on this day carry a look which nobody has ever seen them in. Its a day, when they will look at themselves and blush. And when their yet to happen kids, look at pictures off will look and ask, ..mama, who is that aunty standing next to dad.
Its amazing, how the transformation happens for women. In all the wedding albums of friends, it has been pretty easy to recognize the men.
At a friends wedding, where I was the quasi maid of honour, it was painful. It was painful because, i was the one holding the 20kg stone studded chunni. She was wearing this amazing, heavy kundan set, which the elders of the family thought was a must, to show the richness she came from, a 'rani haar' that nearly pulled her neck to touch the floor.
She came into the house for 15 minutes before the phera. The only thing she wanted was, to take off her heels and remove the jewelery. Her ears were in pain. Imagine, how hard is to wear a 10-20g earing for almost 4 hrs, along with a 20kg lehenga, a 1 kg hair do with pins on pencil heels which are digging the floor.
I always thought women went to gym before the wedding to tone up and look the prettiest on this day. May be, weight lifting training needs to be added. Our ladies, are carry an expensive load of over 25kg on this day. And guess, what a lot of this is an pain inflicted by our ladies by themselves.
Isn't this world an amazing place!
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