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MARRIAGE - COMFORT LEVEL and MARRIED - LIFE LIKES and DISLIKES
COMFORT LEVEL and MARRIED LIFE
LIKES and DISLIKES
Musings of a Much Married Husband
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Every Saturday morning, my wife and I go the E-Square Multiplex on the University Road Food Court
A few months back, one Saturday, as is customary, we reached E-Square at 9 in the morning. I wanted to see an English Movie – a serious film which had just won an Oscar. My wife wanted to see the latest cacophonous Bollywood “comedy” – well I really do not relish such raucous slapstick.
Luckily there were shows of both the movies at 9:30 – albeit on different screens – so I went to see the Hollywood Movie on Screen 3 and my wife went to see the Bollywood Film on Screen 5.
My movie finished early, so I was waiting for my wife at a Food Court
I invited them to join me and ordered coffee.
“We were sitting right behind you in the theatre,” the smart young lady said.
“Sorry, I didn’t notice you,” I said.
“All alone?” the husband asked.
“No,” I said, “my wife is watching the Hindi Movie in Screen 5. I am waiting for her here.”
Seeing the bewildered look on their faces, I explained, “You see, my wife does not like English Movies, especially serious films like the one we saw. And I really don’t like these loud noisy Bollywood comedies like the one she is seeing, which she prefers.”
“So you go your separate ways?” the young wife asked me with a curious look on her face.
“Yes,” I said, “What we both like, we do together. When our likes do not match, we do those things on our own. Why should I compel my wife to something she does not like doing? And why should a wife force a husband to do something he does not like? Tell me, why should we impose our likes and dislikes on each other?”
“Shall I tell you something?” the young husband said.
“Please, go ahead, feel free,” I said.
“Actually, I too wanted to see the Hindi Movie,” the husband confessed.
“But why didn’t you tell me?” the wife retorted.
“I did not want to spoil your mood. I know you hate these light Hindi comedies and like the boring serious English Films like the one we saw today,” the husband said.
“Come on guys,” I said, “the most important thing in a marriage is to have a good comfort level with your partner – there should be no barrier, no mask, no faking and absolutely no trust-deficit in the relationship.”
Suddenly my wife came and sat down. She seemed very happy. She said “Hi, nice to see you here” to the young couple and then looked at me and said, “I really enjoyed the movie – total nonsense – no taxing the brain – but you wouldn’t have liked it. How was your movie?”
“Good,” I said, “I really liked the film.”
“That’s great,” my wife said. Then she looked at the couple and said, “Come on, let’s eat.”
“What next?” I asked my wife.
“Let’s go to the Mall in Camp,” my wife said, “you browse your boring books in Landmark while I do some exciting shopping. When I finish I’ll give you a ring and we can walk down Main Street
“How long have you two been married?” the young couple asked.
“30 years,” I said.
“Why don’t you come over to our place tomorrow morning?” the young lady asked, “we’ll go out for brunch somewhere.”
“No, No,” my wife said, “on Sunday mornings we are not free. We both give our dog a bath every Sunday morning – you know, that is the thing we really enjoy most doing together. And then we’ll laze around and watch the Sunday TV Programmes together. We love doing that.”
Before we said bye, the young couple said, “We too are going to make our “likes” and “dislikes” lists.”
“Do that,” I said, “and remember, where the “likes” match, do together, and where they don’t, just go on your own trip.”
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
1 comment:
Amazing lessons for life :-)
Now I understand why you call this THOUGHT SPACE
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