Shaadi Mubarak 6

In Shaadi Mubarak 5, I argued the reason and rationality to get married. I argued, stating, the only reason to get married is because you want to be the 'top' priority for somebody or make some one your 'top' priority.

The youth (by youth, i mean anybody over 25+) is evolving. Today, people do not get mar

it's sundanese party of married (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

ried because they want to be with each other for ever and ever, but because at that point in time it made sense. That is their requirements / needs/ source of happiness or may be an experience they want to get.

The primary driver of this post is a conversation i had with a friend of mine who completes 1 year of a blissful married life. She is one of the most grounded, sensible and practical person i know, who does let her emotions take over and lives it when she needs to. She had a fairly tale wedding. A relationship i have admired, ever since it has come into being. A balanced relationship.

For all of us, looking to get married, this is the holy grail. Find a person who will be with you for ever and ever. But what happens, when on your first anniversary he says, you are not my top priority. In fact, my work it self is not my top priority. The core of the argument that i laid out earlier is lost, is shaken. Does that mean it does not make sense to get married? What goes on in your mind when the person you change your life for tells you - you are not important to them? Does it bring a sense of relief or betrayal? Does one feel shortchanged?

The bigger question is what does it do to the relationship? Are our expectations from a relationship like marriage un-founded (if at all there is a word like that); Is the base of my argument wrong?

I do not have an answer and am still mulling over this. But, the very fact that it happened to somebody who is inshallah in a happy relationship and shall continue to be in one, has shaken me up and I am re-evaluating how I see the world.